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No Shame

July 2, 2012
 

Picture Source: The Black Health Zone

Yes, I’m coming out of hiding for a minute :-)

And I’m doing so because I want to talk about an issue that is very important to me. Today, we commemorate No Shame Day, a day in which we work to eradicate the stigma of mental illness in the black community. This issue is important to me because I am a victor over clinical depression.

I was first diagnosed when I was a junior in college after going to the student health center for what I thought was anemia. I had been tired, listless, and had a general malaise that made even showering difficult. When the doctor told me my iron levels were fine, I was confused. She then asked me a series of questions and suggested I may be suffering from depression, after which she gave me a referral. To be honest with you I had no idea that depression was even a real disease. I thought it was just a funk people went through from time-to-time. I didn’t know it had a physiological cause ( just as colds are caused by a virus, depression is caused by an imbalance of serotonin in the brain). I didn’t know it affected every area of your life. I didn’t know it was physically crippling. Like most people, I simply didn’t know enough about it.

When I told people — close family and friends — the reactions ranged from support to condescension to outright ignorance. Well-meaning relatives would tell me it was just a demon I needed to pray away. Others were adamant against me taking any medication because it might change who I was. In their eyes, it was me inherently admitting that I was “crazy.” Eventually, I stopped telling people.

I started this blog to collect my thoughts and chronicle my efforts to get and stay on top of my game and be the best wife, mother, and person I can be. Mental illness, however, makes that impossible. I can thankfully say that I haven’t had a depressive episode for a very long time, but my initial struggle with the disease taught me so much about myself and others. In the African-American community, the common misconception is that black people don’t get depressed because we don’t have the “luxury.” Our ancestors did much more with much less and never needed a therapist. All we needed were Jesus and Oprah. Ironically, we’ve used our faith and our triumph as an excuse to ignore the very real problem of mental illness in our community, thereby doing ourselves a disservice. It’s time we changed that.

I’m a person of immense faith. I believe prayer changes things. I’ve seen it happen time after time. However, never would I tell a friend who’s battling cancer to “pray it away” and never see an oncologist. Mental illness can be deadly. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 34,000 people took their own lives in 2007. We need to take this thing seriously. We shouldn’t be so dismissive of people who are genuinely struggling.

If you are battling mental illness in any form, I want you to know that you’re not defective, you’re not “crazy,” and you certainly aren’t alone. Get the help you need. There’s no shame in it whatsoever.

Resources:

7 Comments
  • SexLiesandEmail

    I recently got back on Zoloft. It helps…nothing to be ashamed of to acknowledge depression

  • Charlie5ht99

    And please know you can still live a very productive and fulfilling life with a mental illness

  • Meine13

    Thank for writing this, you have no idea how many people this will touch!

  • http://lifeofabrother-nylse.blogspot.com nylse

    thank you; maybe this will be the first in a series because in my family we are struggling in dealing with someone who may have a mental illness but has not acknowledged it. i am not saying this lightly as we have dealt with it for a long time.

  • Aly in Va.

    I think it’s great that you shared your personal story here for others. Both my parents suffer from diagnoised mental illness and there’s a long line of relatives before them. Our childhood was filled with regular visits to one parent or at times even both at institutions as they struggled. People don’t realize how mental illness can impact everypart of your life and the lives of your loved ones. So I applaud you for your openess and share my voice as a child of parents with mental illness in the “No Shame” campaign.

  • Marianicoles

    Thanks for sharing this!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelly.whogonecheckmeboo.jones Kelly Jones

    Thanks for sharing Tawyna! I was diagnosed with depression back in 2007 and I’ve been on medication every since. I’m very selective with who I share this with, because as you said people can be very ignorant. I’ve had a couple of episodes since being diagnosed but for the most part as long as I’m on the right medication I’m fine. Just helps to know you have someone that truly understands what you go through.

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